First Days

A new day.

Yesterday was my last official day of receiving support from the publishing company, who guided me through this journey of creating a book. Self publishing, including accessing the professional assistance of qualified supporters, was a good choice but my time with them is ending. Those who were advising me will still be available for distribution and ordering needs but the access for the personal one on one discussions and available sounding boards is now complete. 
Every time I begin an unfamiliar journey, I experience a high degree of worry and doubt. I question myself and wonder whether I should be following that path.  I challenge and argue with those guiding me along the path. Seeking their help, but also insisting my preferences and views are being heard. There is a point within each journey, such as this recent publishing road, that I reach a level of expectancy and sense of comfort. The routines in the way the new processes are completed become familiar and I am happy, making progress and future plans. 
I like relying on the countenance of others and, at times, doubt my capabilities when I need to think for myself. Firsts for me have usually involved emotional disagreements: the first time teaching in a classroom alone; the first time taking a trip by myself; the first time tutoring a child in my home. Today is the first day of being a true independent author, promoting and marketing my new book on my own. 
The choices I make, the plans I follow are mine.  I know I will go down paths that are the right ones to follow. I also know that I will sometimes choose paths that I am needing to stop, turn around and walk a different direction. I will celebrate the times of success and learn from the expected errors I make. A scary but “good for me” road to take.

---